Free Verse, Poetry by Sarah

Whispering Wind 

Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, Sunday Confessionals: Secrets

By Sarah

I’m not a lady who thinks
all that glitters is gold
So, I don’t believe
everything I’m told.

For I learnt long ago
Words have two meanings,
And you best be sure of
the way that they’re leaning.

We all seek heaven
For the here and the now
But sometimes we miss
The way, and the how.

When I look to the left
See my spirit is leaving,
I must change my path
Despite my heart grieving.

For though I wish to shine
only white light,
I know of my dreams.
I know of what might.

There are those who watch,
And those who do,
and the smoke screen is all
to distinguish the two.

None of us are innocent.
None of us are pure.
We each play our part,
of that I am sure.

And as my transgressions float
Across whispering wind,
They remind me of all
The ways…

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Free Verse, Poetry by Sarah

You Never

You never got to fully develop your little body.
But I can picture every detail of your perfectly formed features
As clearly as if you were before me.

You never got to wriggle and squirm in my belly.
But I can still feel you.
A hollowness inside that cannot be filled.

You never got to know my touch or arms holding you tight,
But I caress the memory of you with love,
Hugging my pillow at night, wishing it was you.

You never got to breathe and fill your tiny lungs.
But I take deep breaths to soothe the ache in my heart.
Sighing, for what should have been.

You never got to hear my voice or know me as your mother.
But I speak to you often and the person in the mirror
Wears traces of you, etched in the lines of her face and on the curve of her lips.

You never got to experience happiness, joy, or excitement.
But I lived there during the twelve weeks you were with me.
A brief interlude that was over before it could truly begin.

You never got to experience sadness, loss, or fear
But I know that if you had, I would have always
Picked you up, held you near, and comforted you.

You never got to see your potential fulfilled,
But I dream of the ‘what ifs’ and alternate realities
All the endless possibilities, never realised.

You never got to cry out loud or shed any tears,
But I have shed enough for two lifetimes.
Maybe more.

The scar upon my soul
Is the only proof I have
That you ever even existed.

You will forever be my baby,
Never a toddler, child, teenager, or adult.
The scale of injustice tips me over the edge sometimes.

But in the end, the balance is always maintained.
For everything you never did, I have done for you.
You are gone little one, but never, ever forgotten.

By Sarah ©2022

Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, Story Swap #2

Originally written November 24, 2012. The due date of my lost baby.
Other, Poetry by Sarah

Never Tell

Do you know, I keep secrets?
And sometimes I lie?
Paint myself in silhouette,
But I’m not sure why.

My shameful heart is burdened.
Don’t know what to do.
To stop myself from spilling
Things that just aren’t true.

Is it because I’m lonely?
Connected; yet lost?
Never knowing what to say,
No matter what the cost.

Awkward and uncomfortable,
I have that in spades.
Desperate to hide my flaws
Yet still, they pervade.

Living in the “ifs” and “whens”
Never now and here.
Slowly dying bit by bit,
Existing in this fear.

Drawing on your sympathy.
Victim card, I’ll play.
You’ll never know the real me
Despite what I say.

Take responsibility?
Nope. I’ll duck and hide.
Unrelenting perfection
My armour; my pride.

You’ll never really notice
The absolute despair
Expectations left wanting
Truly a bugbear.

Maybe I’m an enigma
You take what I sell.
Am I lying even now?
Guess.

I’ll never tell.

By Sarah ©2022

Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, Saturday Mix – Lucky Dip, 18 June 2022; and Photo Challenge #419

Other, Poetry by Sarah

Indifference

People; do you ever really know?
They disappoint you. So
Keep your expectations low.

When life throws you blow upon blow,
Their silence speaks volumes.
People; do you ever really know?

Indifference. Likes to burn slow.
A simmering glance, a drawn out sigh.
Keep your expectations low.

A strangled plant, it’s hard to grow,
When surrounded by weeds.
People; do you ever really know?

Actions mean more than what you crow,
Beware smiling assassins.
Keep your expectations low.

Guarded I’ll be, loathe to show,
My innermost thoughts lest
People; do you ever really
know?
Keep your expectations low.

By Sarah ©2022

Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, Saturday Mix – Lucky Dip, 23 April 2022

Other, Poetry by Sarah

Dare Not

No one dare say
this is going to be our year
We need to walk in slow
Tread quietly. Tiptoe.

Be cautious
Be respectful
Be prepared
And don’t touch anything

Let 2022 be.
Instead, just hope
Hope it knows the assignment
This year will be its own creation
– whether we like it or not.

By Sarah ©2022

Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, First Line Friday – 31 December 2021 and Saturday Mix – 1 January 2022*

*Line poetry contains a hidden message. When the last line of each stanza is read, it forms it’s own mini poem or tale.

Free Verse, Poetry by Sarah

Stars in the Sand

That’s right
I’m the sidekick
Riding the tailcoats
Of those braver than I

Too shy
Too scared
To bare my teeth
And so I smile

Push me around?
You can for a while
I promise, I won’t mind
Instead I smile

My knuckles are white
I grit my teeth
Composure like armour
“Yes,” I smile

My soul awakens
She tries to get out
Shh. No one cares
I falter…

Gently I push
Gently I prod
The cocoon opens wide
And I fly right out

I am bioluminescent
I’m ready.
Projecting my stars in the sand
For all to see

By Sarah ©2021

Photo by Kevin Wolf on Unsplash

Carrot Ranch, August 19: Flash Fiction Challenge, and also, Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, Take Weaver -19/8

Free Verse, Poetry by Sarah

Better

I am better than this.
But still, I slip.

A slip.
A spiral.

Ashamed.
Around in my head I go.

Torturing,
Self-eviscerating

Every. Moment.
Replayed and amplified.

A car crash of thoughts and feelings.

There’s a scrap heap in my mind.
A junk yard fire.

I am better than this.
But it’s got the best of me.

By Sarah ©2021

Free Verse, Poetry by Sarah

Dream a Little Dream

There’s a cacophony in my head.
And it won’t go away.
I’ve tried sleeping pills
But there’s no guarantee.

I drop some helium
To cull the birds
Coz the tweets are endless
A faithless dirge

And so I’m held
Too painfully aware.
Is it possible to hope?
Do I dare to care?

This fustian pair
Between my ears
See that decisions are made
for me in arrears

Wishes are portable
This I do know
Thoughts are transferable
Wherever I go.

So while there is still
a slit; a gleam
I have to believe I can
Dream a little dream

By Sarah ©2021

Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, Tale Weaver – 12.8.21 and Wordle #253; as well as, Carrot Ranch, August 12: Flash Fiction Challenge

Free Verse, Poetry by Sarah

Glow

No longer hiding my bushel.
No longer willing to wait.
No longer content staying silent.

I step out.

Unashamed.
Unabashed.
Unabated.

It’s thoroughly unlike me.

Yes, I’m scared.
Yes, I’m worried.
Yes, I’m filled with trepidation.

But I can’t do it anymore.

I can’t hide.
I can’t pretend.
I can’t ignore who I am.

It’s gone far beyond that.

Inhale,
Exhale.
Just. Breathe.

I can do this.

I have to.
I want to.
I need to.

And so I do.

It’s time for me.
It’s time for more.
It’s time.

Time to glow.

By Sarah ©2021

Sammi Scribbles, Weekend Writing Prompt – #222 Glow

Free Verse, Poetry by Sarah

Lasso The Sun

Image courtesy of Pobble365

Lasso the sun?
If only I could
I’d make you stay
If only you would

You captured my heart
But not mine you
A one way river
A dried up slew

I wanted to trap you
Encase you in stone
Secret you away
As mine alone

But you shine brightly
As only I dare
My eyes avert yours
An imperfect pair

I”m left in a wasteland
Of my own making
Lessons learned from
Giving not taking

Now I turn my back
And let you be
You’re just too elusive
This I can see

I’ll admire from afar
Bask only in your light
Lasso the sun?
One day, I might…

By Sarah ©2021

Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, Photo Challenge #377

Other, Poetry by Sarah

Doorway

I dream of escape
Escape from in here
Here is my nightmare
Nightmare and fear

Spiralling down
Down to the black
Black prefers dark
Dark doesn’t talk back

It’s been a long time
Time has stood still
Still in my mind
Mind been through hell

But now dawn is rising
Rising to light
Light from a doorway
Doorway in sight

I cross the threshold
threshold anew
anew expectations
Expectations of you

Please hold my hand
hand trembling, I go
Go through the opening
Opening so slow

Guide me with love
Love me carefully
Carefully we’ll weave
Weave a journey

By Sarah ©2021

Photo by Filip Kominik via Unsplash

Carrot Ranch, August 5: Flash Fiction

Free Verse, Poetry by Sarah

Thwarted

why so perplexed?

don’t you know I’m off my rocker?

this is no palaver

I am indeed what you think:

that stunted shrub

the shadow that follows you

the inky depths of a fetid pool

the feeling that you are being watched

the disturbing coincidence

the sensation of being

off kilter

look – I am there!

and you will find

you have been

thwarted

By Sarah ©2021

Sammi Scribbles, Weekend Writing Prompt #221 – Thwart

Also, Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, Saturday Mix – Same Same But Different. Synonyms substituted as follows:

  1. chair – rocker
  2. floor – perplex
  3. tree – shrub
  4. black- inky
  5. talk – palaver

Free Verse, Poetry by Sarah, Scribblings by Sarah

The World After

Adrian Swancar on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/72El6N0cmj4

We shake our heads in disbelief
With eyes wide open shut
Our mouths yet still have plenty to say
When will it be enough?

Conspiracy! It’s just fake news
And what about our rights?
Yet COVID hears no words of peace
Continuing its blight

The world after this so far away
Solutions many but none
Cities crumble, people lost
Survival’s the rule of thumb

We’re losing our humanity
Capacity to care
We need to work together
Because none of this is fair

We shake our heads in disbelief
With eyes wide open shut
Our mouths yet still have plenty to say
When will it be discussed?

By Sarah ©2021

Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, Photo Challenge #376 and Tale Weaver, 5 August 2021

Free Verse, Poetry by Sarah

Villain

These villainous acts keep me up at night
My conscience cannot rest
Although I’ve done not one thing wrong
My intentions do contest

Infatuation blazes in
This yearning heart of mine
It’s criminal indeed to know
The secrets that I hide

Each wretched day, I live a lie
A smile pasted on my face
Eyes dart ‘round for just one glimpse
Yet oft, there is no trace

This cursed blight splintering
Dreams better to put to bed
The kicker is, none of it’s real
It’s all inside my head

By Sarah ©2021

Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, Tale Weaver – 29 July 2021

Free Verse, Poetry by Sarah, Scribblings by Sarah

Monster of Every Story

I am the monster of every story.
That’s right.
I am.

A catacomb mind.
A labyrinth.
I have.

With ghoulish glee.
A spectre.
I see.

Hateful stares
Catch you unawares
I smile.

Threatening vows
Suspicions roused
I laugh.

The pleasure’s mine
Twisting your twine.
I unravel.

Oh yes,
I am the monster of every story.

That is, every story
That’s mine.

By Sarah ©2021

Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, First Line Friday – 2 Jul 2021

Free Verse, Poetry by Sarah, Scribblings by Sarah

Solitudinarian

I am a solitudinarian.
I don’t need anyone.
I don’t need anything.
Away with you.
Be gone.

I am a solitudinarian.
Hear me when I say,
“I am perfectly fine.
I like things just the way they are.”
I do.

I am a solitudinarian.
I answer my own questions.
I interpret my replies.
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
It is I.

I am a solitudinarian.
Yet emptiness is taking over.
Is this all there is?
I admit.
I’m lonely.

I am a solitudinarian.
But I need you.

By Sarah ©2021

Weekend Writing Prompt #208 – Solitudinarian

Free Verse, Poetry by Sarah

Forever Chasing Fridays

A shadowed tree with
leaves hanging
like twisted crêpes
across the darkened park.

I’m insecure.
I’ll admit it.
Aren’t most girls in
this day and age?

The masculine presence
taints our safety,
like cherry blossoms
exhumed after the fall.

No piquant thoughts
allowed here.
How awful to be bittersweet –
forever chasing Fridays.

By Sarah ©2021

Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, Wordle #239