A-Z Challenge, Challenges by Sarah, Haibun, Poetry by Sarah

A is for Anxiety

Author’s note: This is my first time completing the A-Z Challenge and even before it begins, I have been struggling to come up with a ‘theme’ that I am completely happy with. After flip flopping from one idea to another, it struck me – my theme should be anxiety! Battling on and off with anxiety for years, I can certainly write about every element of it from A-Z! I also want to use my favourite poetry type as the form for writing, so will write a “Haibun a day” for this challenge. Hope you enjoy coming along with me for the ride…

Things will be going along just fine. Life is grand. When suddenly it begins again. That familiar sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Invisible hands twisting at my gut. My brain turns a switch and I become consumed. Anxiety steals my joy and takes the living out of my life. I feel the heaviness of it settle over me. It seeps into every pore, and controls every waking thought. I am the host of an unwanted guest. I try to distract myself but I’ve played this game too many times for it to work any more. I try confronting it. Calling it out. Silently I scream, “I can hear you!” but it never stops. It can always scream louder and longer and is unrelenting. It’s like wading through a solid black fog. It may lift for a while, liquify; but it will never clear.

I dream of being free.
No longer living this nightmare.
I dream to be me.

Not anxiety.

By Sarah ©2018

Image credit Tumisu via Pixabay

Prompt: A-Z Challenge, 1 April 2018 – A; and also, Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, Saturday Mix – Opposing Forces, 31 March 2018; guest and host, liquid and solid

26 thoughts on “A is for Anxiety”

  1. This is so beautiful. A kickstart to atozchallenge. True, anxiety is the worst enemy of human. And you justified the first post. Waiting to hear on B.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My first time with A to Z too Sarah. Great start too. Anixiety is a beast to cope with. So much can be used following mindfulness, well being and motivational themes. All carry a good message and help spread the word so no suffers have to feel isolated.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Absolutely, I had great comments on day one, felt elated abd then thought ooh, A’s in the bag…until Z said I’m miles away 😱

        Spreading the word is the big message. Lots of bloggers I know do post and, if you are tuned in, you can hear them wanting to know they are not alone. The more we make this an everyday conversation the better things will be in the longer term. Keep it going, now B…what do I do for B?

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I too had a similar freak out! 26 posts doesn’t seem that hard until you’re faced with the daunting prospect of it being 25 more posts away lol! I think I’m going to write out a plan so I stay on track! Looking forward to keeping an eye on your adventures through A-Z too

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Especially if you say it fast….26 posts, it’s not like 260 or 2600. How hard can it be? That was me on Saturday, now 4 sounds massive 😱 Still, wouldn’t be a challenge if it was easy would it 👀

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I think that this topic is too narrow and it would make a better A to Z if you would do human conditions. That way A could be for anxiety and B could be for bulimia and C could be for claustrophobia and so on.

    Liked by 1 person

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