Free Verse, Poetry by Sarah, Scribblings by Sarah

I am not nothing

I am not nothing.
I know you see me,
Even though you stare blankly
through the places I be.

I am not nothing.
I see the flicker in your eye,
A glimpse, a recognition
– your sister, a tie.

I am not nothing.
I’m not an aberration.
Not an evil monster,
You invented that creation.

I am not nothing.
All the wrongs against you,
are deeds to be halved,
your own version of true.

I am not nothing.
You need to share blame.
We both made mistakes,
played a terrible game.

I am not nothing.
Not invisible, not worthless,
And who the fuck made you,
so pious and righteous?

I am not nothing.
It cuts to the core,
It still hurts like hell
it’s me alone, you ignore.

I am not nothing.
There’s no end in sight,
I’ve tried for so long now
to make things right.

I am not nothing.
I want to move on,
To harbour this grudge
Eight years is too long.

I am not nothing.
It’s time to say ‘bye,
Because though you’re my brother
you don’t even try.

I am not nothing.
What you don’t see
Is that to someone who matters,
Their everything is me.

By Sarah ©2017


Image by Karen Shaw at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 Author note: This poem is based on my estranged brother. From time to time we have to deal with one another at family events etc and he pretends I don’t exist. This poem attempts to deal with some of the feelings that arise when being treated like this by someone you used to be close to. Obviously there are two sides to the story. This is mine.
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2 thoughts on “I am not nothing”

  1. I have such a sibling. In fact, all my siblings have such siblings. I tell people that we’re less like a family & more like a litter of pups: once fully weaned, off on our own, unattached.. It’s sad in its way, but it’s freeing, as well; requires less, um, care.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s an interesting way to put it! I like the comparison 🙂
      It’s hard to explain to someone who is not in this position that caring means getting hurt….over and over again!!

      Like

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